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Getting over childhood trauma



I quote a few passages from Chapter 2 of "Born to Win" by Muriel James. Please note that the quoted passages are in Bold and within quote marks.


Quote "Development of Ego States


When first born, the infant's awareness is centered on personal needs and comforts. The baby seeks to avoid painful experiences and responds at the feeling level. Almost immediately the infant's unique Child ego state emerges.


The Parent ego state develops next. It is often first observed when the young child plays at parenting, imitating parental behavior.


The Adult ego state develops as the child tries to make sense out of the world and figures out that other people can be manipulated. The child may ask, "Why do I have to eat when I'm not hungry?" and may try to manipulate others by faking a stomach ache in order to avoid eating.


Days of Decision


Before children are eight years old they develop a concept about their own worth. They also formulate ideas about the worth of others. They crystallize their experiences and decide what it all means to them, what parts they are going to play, and how they are going to play them. These are children's days of decision.

When decisions about self and others are made very early in life, they may be quite unrealistic....These distortions can create some degree of pathology ranging from inconsequential to serious...


The "days of decision" lead a person to take psychological positions." Unquote


Explanatory Notes:

The psychological positions are also often called "Life Positions". There are four life positions as follows:

1. The healthy/happy position - Get on with attitude
2. The helpless/one-down position - Get away from attitude
3. The angry/one-up position - Get rid of attitude
4. The hopeless position - Get nowhere attitude


Quote "Summary

Modern people wear many masks and have many forms of armor that keep their reality confined and unknown - even to themselves..... To discover the worst is to face the decision of whether or not to continue in the same patterns....


Transactional analysis is a tool you can use to know yourself, to know how you relate to others, and to discover the dramatic course your life is taking. The unit of personality structure is the ego state. By becoming aware of your ego states, you can distinguish between your various sources of thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns. You can discover where there is discord and where there is agreement within your own personality. You can become more aware of the options available to you." Unquote


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